


Let Dark Burdens be Lightened

by Bisexual_Bean



Series: Catch You, Help You Heal [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I don't own a horse but still, I swear it on my horses life, I will fight anyone who mentions slash, Im so proud and happy for him, Jason Todd is also proud and happy for him, Protective Jason Todd, Suicide Attempt, THESE TWO ARE BROTHERS AND WE LOVE THEM FOR IT, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues, Tim Drake Needs Help, Tim finally gets therapy guys!!, but it's only mentioned, not fluff but not angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bisexual_Bean/pseuds/Bisexual_Bean
Summary: "I'm Red Robin and I used to be Robin."Bruce would be so furious.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Catch You, Help You Heal [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904848
Comments: 17
Kudos: 386





	Let Dark Burdens be Lightened

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to thank use of the title from Starwindmaden

Tim refused to let his eyes leave the clock, listening to the rhythmic ticking and drumming his fingers on his thigh in beat.

Mary sat in front of him. She was smaller than he expected. Young, with bright, honey colored eyes, and brunette hair that just fell passed her shoulders. Her nails were cut short, blouse a pale blue, and she reminded Tim of this one woman who worked at his parents galas and always snuck him a few sweets (Until Mother found out and fired her that is).

Her smile is soft and patient, reminding him a lot of Jason.

Who he would very much prefer to have in the room with him.

But when he had first been called in Jason had stayed behind, and Mary had suggested starting off alone, in case there was anything Tim needed to let her know before Jason joined them.

Tim could understand that. There was quite a bit Jason still didn't know, and he would rather not have something asked and force him to loose what small amount of control he felt he still had while in a _therapists_ room.

Bruce would be furious.

"Jason sounded very pleased when I talked with him on the phone last to set up your appointment."

Tim nodded. Stiff and straight.

Mother would be ashamed of his posture.

But Mary kept a steady distance between them, which Tim greatly appreciated. Leaning back when he thinks others might have leaned in. Giving him the extra space necessary to force another breath down and not lash out in panic.

Jason had given him head warning about the first few sessions (If Tim was willing) being stressful and awkward. Possibly even more so for Tim. But Jason had said what to expect, what questions would most likely be asked, and when he offered to join Tim's appointments until he felt more comfortable in a one-on-one Tim couldn't have agreed faster.

When he had first entered her office she introduced herself, offering a hand and not seeming upset when Tim declined the touch. She asked what he was most comfortable being called by, if any of the current sounds (Such as said clock) bothered him or his ears, and reminded him about a dozen times that he can change his answers later if he wants or needs to.

He doesn't know what Jason all told her on the phone. Whether he mentioned his secret identity, or his jump from a roof, or anything to do with his parents. So when she opens her mouth to speak again he beats her to the chase.

"I'm Red Robin and I used to be Robin."

Bruce would be _so_ furious.

Mary pauses, watches him with eyes he cant read, and closes her mouth. She scribbles something on the note pad in her lap and tilts her head, "Alright, is that something that Jason knows about?"

He nods. His heart is beating so loudly he wouldn't be surprised if she could hear it from across the room.

"Is that your reason for beginning therapy? To talk about your time as Robin and what has changed?"

It's definitely not an uncommon fact that Red Robin appeared out of no where. After Damian took over ( ** _stole_** ) the title, people were quick to realize the third Robin to the name had vanished into thin air, and about 6 months later a new player by the name of Red Robin immerged from the shadows.

Some people have managed to make the connection. Others think he's just a random who took up the cape. Tim keeping a distance from the other Bats tends to support neither side very well, seeing as any newbie in a cape is immediately taken in by the big Bat himself.

_ Is it too much to say first session that I jumped off a roof? _

He bites his lip. Shrugs instead.

She keeps a steady gaze on him, and Tim digs a blunt nail into his thigh.

"I..." He pauses, glances back at the clock, "I would very much like Jason to be here now," Tim manages to force the words through his teeth.

Everything in his mind was screaming that he's made a mistake. That Bruce is going to beat him to a pulp for telling the family secret. That Dick will send him such a heart broken look, and that Damian is going to grin and gloat about how right he was, how horrible and untrustworthy of a person he new Tim was from the very start. What would Alfred th-

There's a thumb pressing against his wrist and Jason is suddenly settling down next to him on the couch, warm and solid and _grounding_ because he definitely made a mistake in letting Jason talk him into this.

"Heya Mary, hope things have been well?" Jason's voice is deep and calm and humorous, and Mary raises an eyebrow, notebook in her lap now resting on her opposite leg.

"Of course Jason. And you?" 

"Fine and dandy m'lady," He pretends to tip a hat towards her and Tim would roll his eyes if he wasn't more focused on the meditative pressure of his thumb against his pulse.

It helps Tim to breath, inhaling on one squeezes and exhaling on the next.

Mary jots something down on her notebook.

"So Tim, aside from what we've talked about already, is there another reason that you wished to start therapy?"

The room goes silent for several long, agonizing minutes, filled with echoing space that Tim fights against.

He knows what he _should_ do. Jason knows what he should do. Spill the training and torture and _pain_ he's gone through. Talk about Ra's, about Batman, about the Red Hood. About his parents, or his nightmares, his late night adventures chasing after caped heros he still doesn't feel like he will ever reach.

"I..." Tim can hear the nearly silent breaths of Jason next to him, "I tried to kill myself."

The short hum he gets in response isn't tense, the eyes staring him down concerned, "How long ago?":

"A little over a month."

Mary nods, leans further back into her chair, "You you feel a need to harm yourself further?"

Tim shakes his head. Because if he's being honest, its never been about the idea of pain. He doesn't go and fight villain's and thugs because he enjoys being punched in the face, or having his arm broken in three different places.

It's the constant dragging idea of getting up and living each day, despite everything he's suffered screaming at him from the back of his mind. It's knowing there can only be worse things waiting for him in the future, and if he's barely been able to handle everything so far, what's going to help him survive what's to come?

It's about the agony of each inhale when he wakes up alive. The numbness that spreads through his chest when he's left alone in silence for just a second to long. The way long tipped nails scare him and shadows dancing in the darkness make him fear for his life.

"I'm glad to hear that," She says the words softly, but the absence of a smile tells him she's able to read further into him than he feels comfortable with, "I want to possibly start you on an anti-depressant. If that would be something you would be willing to try that is."

Tim pauses. Takes a breath.

_Drugs cloud the mine Robin._

_Drugs cloud the mind drugs cloud the mind drugs cloud the mind drugs cloud the-_

"I-I...don't think I'm ready for that..." He whispers, eyes once again lowering to meet his lap.

Jason's thumb presses against his pulse.

Mary writes in her notebook.

Her pen settles against the paper after another moment, "That is completely ok Tim. Medication can he a scary thing to try, and I'm sure we can come up with plenty of other things that can help you."

Tim nods, but his heart is still pounding in his chest. His eyes sting. Is she judging him? Is she disappointed?

But Mary doesn't say anything, doesnt shift or hum of make any noises that might possibly give her thoughts away.

He hates that he can't read her at all.

But Tim can read Jason. The older man is sitting as calm as can be, a firm pressure against his side. His breathing is slow and even, legs bend outwards in a way that shows trust and safety and vulnerability.

Tim nods again, clearing his throat, breaths in sync with the squeezes of his wrist.

"Ok."

He thinks she nods, hopes she nods, hopes she does something other than just stare at him like she's waiting for a bigger response.

"It has been a pleasure meeting you Tim, but I do believe our time is unfortunately up," are the words to pass her lips after a few more moments, "But I hope to be seeing you again next week?"

Tim nods for what he thinks is the hundredth time this appointment, clears his throat, and follows Jason's lead when they both stand and follow her out of the room.

It's only once they leave her office, leave the building, get settled in the front seat of Jason's car, that Jason asks if he's ok.

"She's nice," Tim admits, resting against the passenger side door, "I think I would be ok...With continuing..."

Jason's smile is nearly contagious as he reaches out and tucks Tim close to his side from the drivers seat, "I'm so proud of you," He whispers into Tim's hair and Tim only leans further into the embrace, pressing his still shaking hands against his thighs.

A few minutes pass with Jason keeping his breaths even and easy to follow, and Tim slowly but surely working through the emotional war waging through his brain. His older brothers grip on his shoulder remains a constant, thumb rubbing circles into his skin through the hoodie Tim had stolen from his closet that morning.

"So proud," Jason would whisper every so often, and Tim's heart would flow and shimmer and all of the evil words in his head would shy away for just a little longer

After his hands stop shaking, and his breathing is matching Jason's almost perfectly, Tim shifts away ever so slightly and Jason settles back into his own seat, smile still bright and present on his face.

"I'd say we deserve a bit of a treat, yeah? I'm thinking pizza, ice cream, and that dumb movie you wanted me to watch the other week."

"Back to the Future isn't dumb. You just refuse to give it a chance," Tim scoffs, throwing a small smirk back at the older man.

Jason huffs, starting the car and turning out of the parking lot, "Sure kid,"

He chuckles, lightly shoving the others arm, "I'm telling you! It's a classic! Once you watch it you'll be dying to watch all the others."

Jason rolls his eyes and Tim feels another wave of familiar warmth washing over him, the comforting feeling of having a home to return to, having a family to watch movies with and tease each other. That cares about you enough to sit through a boring, stressful session and then say he deserves a treat despite not doing anything at all.

Tim holds onto the feeling, tucks it close to his chest, and looks back towards the window.

Maybe therapy wont be so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Tim finally gets the therapy he deserves. Honestly, anyone thinking about starting therapy should 100% go for it. Even if your first therapist doesnt work out (I'm currently getting to know my 3rd) I still suggest trying until you find someone who you can actually connect with and work through your emotions with!   
> But as always, enjoy and let me know if I missed anything!


End file.
